Monday, June 7, 2010

My Bad

I am going to preface this blog entry, with the fact that I am sure you literary types out there will point out that my grammar is terrible, I cannot form a basic sentence structure and that I am completely illiterate. Nevertheless, this is my blog and I am allowed to rant any way I want.

Uhhmm, this word contains two words!!

Why do so many people make this same mistake? Speeell cheker is everyvare you kno?

My Bad
My bad what? My bad breath? My bad ability to finish a sentence?

How many times does the pilot explain over the P/A system the following?: "Do not worry. We have found out why the wing fell off during our most recent  landing attempt and we have fixed it. Now we are good to go and we will be taking off momentarily".   I don't know about you, but I cry like a baby and beg for mercy every time I hear that!

Momentarily means that some activity will take place for an instant or moment. It does not mean that an activity will happen in a moment.

I Could Care Less
This one just plain burns me up.

How many people say this when they really mean, I couldn't care less? If you could care less, that means that you care more than your lowest possible level of caring. So if don't care is measured numerically by 0, then if you could care less, your level of caring right now is higher than 0. Than means you do care somewhat.

There are scholars out there who even try to argue that it is OK to say "I could care less" in this context.  for example. By the way I agree wholeheartedly with William and Mary Morris.

Sorry Michael Quinion, "I could care less" used in the context described is not correct. Capital P, small E, small R, small I, small O and small D as Denis Leary would say.

rofl, lol, lmao, afaik
Ok these speak for themselves.  The most remarkable one that I have seen is LQTM. That means "laughing quietly to myself". I am trying to figure out when this could be used when I am text messaging. Oh I know.
"Wow that's a really funny one. But guess what? I am at a teaching hospital and I am watching a live demonstration of open heart surgery right now, so I am LQTM"

Actually there is one that I really like and would love to use if the situation presents itself. It is FUBAR. That has a great ring to it doesn't it? It means, "fouled up beyond any recognition". 

"Gordon Brown's political career is FUBAR".   I love it.

It was literally raining Cats and Dogs. I was literally going a 1000 miles an hour
No, it was figuratively raining "cats and dogs". Otherwise there would be a whole lot of dead cats and dogs on top of you and all around you, if you even  lived to witness them.

If you were literally going a 1000 miles an hour, again chances are that you would already be dead, so this discussion would be moot. Oh or is it mute? Check out the real definition of the word moot and then it really does appear that mute may in fact be more logical. 

Ok I will stop now. My Bad. Who am I to talk? I am just AICG. But then again I could care less what you think.

PS. AICG (An Illiterate Computer Geek).


Anonymous said...

Excellent! Thats very funny.
Should I say LOL, LSHMBH or ROFLMAO?

- Dilan

Anonymous said...

irregardless definately alot to think about

Anonymous said...

Oh Dude! Pick your battles eh?

I detect misplaced aggression that perhaps deals with an overwhelming disquiet related to the displacement of facial cartilage. (nose out of joint)

What's troubling you my friend? The survival of Apple based on it's popularity and not on technological supremacy? That the iPod singularly created the trend to 'pop-tech' and saved the aforementioned from certain doom? The fact that the masses are driving the markets, technology and the world as a whole, to meet at the level of some lowest common denominator?

I personally was distressed to learn that Japan moved closer to the US in a move that could be seen as attempts at a further westernization of their culture. In so doing, they managed to put a different slant on the planetary axis further feeding their egos as global movers and shakers.

Apparently the consortium that is dealing with the global warming effort (Al Gore and his cronies) is going to add earthquake eradication to their list of things humans are to expend tremendous amounts of energy, tax dollars and thought towards so they don't have to deal with simple things like fiscal responsibility.

Given that 2012 is fast approaching and the Incas/Aztecs/Druids/Mayans/Atlanteans/Klingons have determined that it will be a great year for grapes but not for the rest of the planet. We should consider adjusting our planning to more immediate and gratifying opportunities. Sri Lanka being of decent size yet, not to large, perhaps a plan to make it buoyant would be good. It could serve as an ark when the floods and quakes ravage the earth and provide a safe haven to ride out the apocalypse.

So many things to ponder and yet we waste emotion and energy attempting to educate the masses... Placate the masses, placate. Remove taxes on consumable alcohol, provide subsidies for those who can't afford a good bottle of Scotch and generally keep them blotto so they can be managed with sheep dogs and cattle prods.

However, I have a friend with a Porsche 993 that is pushing about 550 HP who would let me take you for a spin...
While you don't look like her, I bet i could make you scream like that... again. Tee Hee! Guess who? :)

I tried to make this as long as your iPad/Apple post but just couldn't...

Vijit Coomara said...

Peter: I would never get in a Porche with you. Although, you didn't try to scare me at all on our drive to Pickering.

Anonymous said...

One of my biggest pet peeves is the use of the word " Literally" in the news and by the public at large. A woman said to me at a Christmas gathering this past Christmas " I literally died laughing", I said to her " I am sorry you didn't as your use of the English language is abysmal! Her husband and my wife did not like my comment much; after I explained to her the meaning of "Literal" she apologized to me. I imagine she is literally going to die of stupidity one day ;-)

Anonymous said...

Porsche - pour-shu

shu with the 'u' as in 'up'

I'd sit on the porch with you, wouldn't try to scare you there either ;)


Sven - hard wired said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

FUBAR and SNAFU both military terms from at least the second world war have had the F in polite and vernacular forms from the "get go".
Personally find that SNAFU - Situation Normal: All Fouled/Fucked Up to be my favourite. Both cynical and sarcastic, it has a firm grasp on reality ;)