Tuesday, November 1, 2011

What is going on at HP?

HP has announced their new CEO. Its Meg Whitman. Hello? Have they not learned already from one of their megalomaniac ex-leaders, Carly Fiorina? She also had delusions of grandeur by running for and losing a senate seat. Meg Whitman is freshly remembered for her humiliating defeat for the California Governor's position. The HP Board of hapless directors made a yet again unfathomable decision. How can you continue to hire incompetent, "has been", loser (literally) CEOs? First Carly Fiorina makes the non nonsensical purchase of worthless Compaq. With the purchase of Compaq, they inherited Compaq's ill-fated purchase of DEC when Alpha based mini-computers were dying off. With DEC they had to then deal with the headaches of having to Support Alphas, Vaxes and OpenVMS OS. Then the board hired Mark Hurd, which was probably the best move they ever made, but fired him because he chased the girls a little too much. He was actually getting the job done. Then they hire the ultimate loser CEO Leo Apotheker. He buys Palm for billions and then decides to get out of the hardware business altogether. Yes that's right. Let me repeat they buy  two PC hardware companies COMPAQ and PALM for billions of dollars, and then scrap them all for guess what? To become a software company, something they know nothing about. You can't make this stuff up. Yes the genius Apotheker goes ahead and buys Autonomy in the UK for 10 billion dollars and announces HP will henceforth become a software company. Now to be fair, following IBMs lead and getting out of the PC and tablet business and staying with the enterprise servers may not have been that bad an idea, if they hadn't just so recently bought Palm and somewhat recently Compaq for all that money.
Ok then the board members figure out all by themselves that they really are all "nit wits" and they fire Apotheker. But then they didn't want us to forget too quickly that they really are still morons and they bring in Meg Whitman. Remember that Meg Whitman was behind the bonehead decision for eBay's to purchase of Skype for 4 billion dollars. 
I can almost predict what Meg Whitman will do immediately after taking over the helm. She will get rid of the only viable thing HP has left which is to sell off their printer business and then she will turn around and buy RIM with the proceeds. Then she will rename the product line to Palmberry and then scrap the whole thing in 6 months after they surprisingly don't make a single unit sale. 
No the HP board should have been much wiser and picked Conan O' Brien as the obvious successor. He isn't so busy these days and he knows as much as Meg about technology and at least he knows he is a joker.
I don't think that all the members of HP board should just be fired. That would just be too easy. No, first they they should be publicly horse whipped by their major shareholders on national TV. 
Poor Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard. They must be rolling in their collective  graves.

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